I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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