Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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