Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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