so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize