My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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