why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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