dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize