Someone shit on the floor
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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