i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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