Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
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Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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