I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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