Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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