He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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