she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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