Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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