you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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