I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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