I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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