Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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