so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize