K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
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I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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