I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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