i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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