It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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