Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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