Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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