Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
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Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
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I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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