Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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