Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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