Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize