well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize