After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
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Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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