so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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