She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize