I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Houston, we have a squirter
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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