My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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