Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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