it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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