Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize