Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize