tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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