Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize