I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
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I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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