My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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