Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize