Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize