trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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