i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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