I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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