i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize