I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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